Dear best friend,

I don't know how to start this, but it started when a box chat turned blue and I see the girl's name on that. I'm totally missing her. A lot. Too much. Never ends. I remember our first meeting at our seventh grade at that building. And then we were always being best friends for about three years, because we shared the same class three times in a row. Well then, I won't talk too much about our first met or kind of that. I'll share about a lot of things that I've learned and she has given to me, indirectly.

She has no profile picture on her Facebook account. No wonder, she is a geek. And we haven't met for almost a year, after those three years we've shared together.

I remember her laugh, I'm still remember which chord that she always uses when she is laughing. I remember when she mocked at herself and then we laugh together. I remember what kind of jokes she always uses to make me laugh out loud as much till i got a stomach ache. Dear best friend, I miss your laugh so much that made me so grateful.

She is not a girl that envy so much. People happy, she turns happy. People got a good score, she claps her hands and shakes their hands. People got a better rank, she draws her smile, her big smile, on her face. God, shame on me, I'm not that kind of person. I envy too much. She never mocks someone who has a lower grade or score, she even makes them laugh and forget about their bloody score.

I can't defeat her, and I won't. Her brain is too much higher than me, than everyone in class. I copy the others homeworks, she doesn't. I do my homework at school, she doesn't... umm well, sometimes hehe but I still worse. I ask friends when we had an exam, she doesn't. She'd rather do the exam by herself, and proud for whatever score she had by herself. But she never refuses when someone asking her when we had an exam.  She is kind.

She never complains about everything. Even the worst thing happens.

I smile at the camera, she smiles, but not that often. She even doesn't have a profile picture, or her images capture in her handphone. She doesn't care about it. There're even more her cats' pictures than herself. I do wear a zebra print and leather jacket, but she just wears a tee shirt and a jeans. She doesn't care about it. But she still looks good, looks beautiful, looks happier. I share that I had a crush on someone, she shared that she is going to marry an actor. And once again, shame on me.

As I've realized that she uses a cartoon picture as her profile picture, I'm looking for some photos that her High School's friends had tagged her. And I love one of five pictures that people tagged on her; everyone smiles at the camera or posing their self, she, the girl who has the messy hair, just sit on her school chair and reading a book.

Dear God, when I read what she'd written at our time chatting this night, i even can laugh. Even she's not here. Even she's somewhere further. And when I see your photo that I loved, I feel like I have a new spirit that could push me to have more spirit to go to school and learn something new. I feel like I've just wasted my time not to listen to the teacher. I feel like I disappointed by myself, and I disappointing myself.

My best friend, I don't know to express my longing more to you. You're officially being my role model this night. I'm proud for having you. I'm proud being your best friend. I'm proud I have a best friend like you. I'm proud of you, dear, nothing more.

I just... just want to meet you sooner. I just want to thank you. Because I know that I'll thank you more when I reach my twenty or older. You've made a great influence to my world. It sounds exaggerating, but it is the fact. I always pray the best for you and your life. Even I pray to my own God, and you pray to your own God. But our God will realize my wish, and your wish too.

I don't know what I have to say more, but dear best friend, my best friend in the world, Regina Putri Lawrence, I miss you so much.

Hope you might read it someday. Someday that maybe we couldn't meet each other anymore, someday that I had had a success life, someday that I can't say to you that I couldn't thank you more, someday that I could realize that you could make me write this long on my blog just to say thank you.

Your best friend who feels proud and grateful,


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